Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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