He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
