I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He has the fingertips of a God
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