Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
