I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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