You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
