quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
