I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
