i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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