so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize