The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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