did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
