im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
