Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
