what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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