The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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