GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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