You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
