Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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