apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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