I like to think it a success when the cops are called
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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