I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
