No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
