Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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