He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
