Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
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You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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