You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
