Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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