so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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