We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
