he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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