I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize