Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
