I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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