Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
