I wish i was in the wii world.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
