Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
