I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
