Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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