I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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