margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
