she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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