if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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