So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
