Dual....:-)
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
