Porn is love you can see.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she looked like the before picture.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
