My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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