no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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