I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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