i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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