I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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