scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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