Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.