i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
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I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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