If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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